Chasing Excellence: A New Weekly Journal
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THIS WEEK’S JOURNAL
There is nothing in them for the client.
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I think we’ve all fallen victim to this — sending follow-ups that are really about our own goals.
And because of that, they get ignored.
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The Research
Robert Cialdini, a professor at Arizona State University, spent decades studying why people say yes. One of his most famous principles was reciprocity: when you give someone something useful first, they want to give back.
In one study, servers who gave diners a small gift and made it feel personal saw their tips rise by about 20%.
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That’s the whole secret to a follow-up people welcome. Every message you send should leave them better off — even if they never reply.
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The Question That Changes Everything
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I’ve coached experts for more than 20 years. The ones who grow the fastest all ask the same question before they reach out:
“What is in this for them?”
Then they lead with it — a useful link, a quick introduction, an idea tied to a goal they care about.
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In my book Give to Grow, I call these the Four Gifts — each one gives the other person something of value before you ever need anything back.
✅ Expertise — what you know that helps them move forward.
✅ Introductions — the right person, at the right time.
✅ Insights — an idea tied to a goal they care about.
✅ Experiences — a moment worth remembering.
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✎ Steal This
❌ “Just checking in on my proposal.”
✅ “Saw this piece on [their goal] and thought of you — no reply needed.”
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So before you send your next follow-up, ask yourself: is there real value in here for them? If not, wait until there is.
Do that consistently, and I promise you — the relationship takes care of the rest.
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YOUR TURN
What’s the most useful follow-up you ever received?
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Or just hit reply and tell me — I read every one.
Keep chasing excellence.
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🎧 NEW EPISODE
Chasing Excellence with Tony Thompson
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Tony Thompson, CMB
Keynote Speaker, Founder & CEO, NAMMBA
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